I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
