he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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