Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
