He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
