no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
