New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
