i was born a porn star she said
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
