How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
