I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this beer tastes like vomit already
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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