I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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