The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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