so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
