Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
