what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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