my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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