Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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