Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize