I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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