In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
