Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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