only if we run a train.
done.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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