my mouth tastes like poor choices
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
