what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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