That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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