yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
NoShamevember. You game?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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