have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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