I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
