So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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