It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
