Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
