My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
