She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
