Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
