my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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