You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
