Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
