Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
