dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
