Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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