I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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