Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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