booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
