What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
