Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
