he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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