I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
