I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
