the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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