a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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