Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
