Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
