Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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