the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
