After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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