You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
