So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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