I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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