also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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