I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im holly from the hills drunk
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
