scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You don't make any sense
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